And I can't remember why, but it felt like I had found home

I decided that I needed to write one more blog post to wrap up the last four months. It's still insane to me that I'm at the point where I'm wrapping up this entire experience, but it is what it is. There always comes a point when you blog where you either get sick of it, get too busy, or find yourself lessening your experience because you feel the need to share it with everyone. Mine was definitely the latter, but I still feel like having one more post is necessary.

I left Joburg last Friday after what seemed like days of constant tears on my part. My last weekend was luckily a very long 5-day weekend, so I was able to spend a lot of quality time with the people I had become so close with. On Thursday, my wonderful friend Prudence organized a going away dinner at my favorite restaurant (I say favorite for the following reasons: 1.) they give you bread before your meal 2.) they have great desserts 3.) they have an hour of free wifi) and 15 of my closest friends had all shown up to say goodbye. It was a really difficult night to get through and every now and then I would randomly start crying because I just didn't want to think about it. They made me this amazing photo book with pictures of them all with me and a note to go along with it. It's probably the best present I've ever received. When the time came to start saying actual goodbyes, I was a complete mess. At one point, I was standing outside by myself crying like a crazy person when Shannon saw me and came out with Curtis and Dillon to make sure I was okay. It was so great to feel that support and know that they were going to help me through it all. I honestly don't know how I would have made it through these four months without Shannon, but that's a completely different story. It was such a nice night and a perfect way to say goodbye to everyone. And then the next day Shannon, Prudence, and Bronwynn took me to the Gautrain for me to get to the airport. I adore those ladies and I was so glad they were the ones to take me.

I know it may seem a little childish to have been so upset about leaving, but something happened that I wasn't expecting while I was in Joburg. I saw it as my home and as a place where I could have a really great life. So having to say goodbye to somewhere I had realized I could truly live and would be happy was really difficult. We talk a lot in social work classes about the idea of "termination" with our clients and jobs. We all know the right ways to end relationships with our clients and how to walk away from jobs to go onto another one. But we've never discussed the idea of letting go of a life you never knew you wanted. Saying goodbye to Joburg and all of my amazing friends was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I know that my time in Joburg isn't finished and that I will eventually end up back there. Maybe it'll just be to visit, or maybe it'll be to continue that life I had managed to start. Who knows? But I do know that it definitely isn't over.

 After leaving SA on Friday, I headed straight to Tanzania which is where I lived four years ago. I hadn't been back since I left four years ago, so I knew that I needed to come back. After two planes and a very, very uncomfortable 8 1/2 hour bus ride, I made it back to Tabora. I've managed to see so many of the kids I worked with and have seen how much they've grown up. Unfortunately, I've already managed to get malaria, so I've been a little sleepy the last couple of days. But I'll be here until Sunday and then on Monday I go to Zanzibar for a few days. Zanzibar is the perfect place to relax and reflect and I feel like I'm really going to need that before heading back to Boston in 9 days.

 It's been a surreal four months, but I feel like I have grown so much because of everything I have been able to do. The work I did changed me and helped me realize exactly what it is I want to do. And the people I met have helped me become ready for the next stage of my life. In the words of the always poignant Adele, "Oh, the people I've met are the wonders of my world." I couldn't have asked for a better experience and I know there's no way I could have had a better experience. Love love love.